In which I recieve a phone call

We're in the process of working with insurance to re-roof and re-side our house, so when someone left me a message this morning saying they were Tim from the underwriting department, I called back right away.  Then we had the following conversation:

Guy: This is Steve in underwriting.

Me: This is Tricia L, and I'm returning Tim's call.

Guy: Tim is my assistant, so I'd be happy to help you.  We're making capital improvement loans to small businesses.  Are you the business owner?

Me: Wait?  What?  No!  Go away.  I don't...

Guy: No, you go away!!

Guy hangs up the phone.

Ockham's Razor

In logic and scientific thought, Ockham's Razor is the principle that the simplest explanation is usually the correct one.  We use it as the basis for a silly, creative talking game.  I usually do the set up, but sometimes the kids will volunteer.  We imagine together a situation and then brainstorm as many wild explanations as we can for why that situation might exist.  After we've exhausted our ideas, we use Ockham's Razor to determine which explanation is the most likely.

By way of an example:

Imagine V can't find her snow boots on the shoe mat.

Maybe she didn't put them away last time she wore them, so they're by the door instead of on the mat.
Maybe a terrible monster was sad that it didn't have any snow boots, and Dad felt bad, so he gave the monster V's boots.
Maybe malicious fairies stole them.
Maybe she walked home in the snow without her boots on, so they're actually still at church.
Maybe a hungry dog crept into our house and ate them all up.
Maybe they got so wet that drying out caused them to shrink.
Maybe there was a tornado while we were sleeping and it blew the boots away.
Maybe Dad was careless cleaning up, so he threw the boots into the recycling bin.
Maybe Z was vacuuming in his sleep, and he vacuumed the boots up.
Maybe they were biodegradable boots, so they just dissolved.

What do you think?

How to Stay Home with Preschoolers and Stay Sane at the Same Time

Let me be totally, brutally honest about something for a second here: I love to watch my kids play, but I get very little out of playing their games myself.  With that, then, my number one tip for staying sane is to teach your kids to play independently.  I'm not exactly sure when in the last few decades "homemakers" became "stay-at-home moms," but I seriously think it's a disservice to our kids for us to entertain them like it's our job.

I'd like to suggest that the actual job of a stay-at-home parent (if that's how you'd like to style yourself) is to manage the home.  Part of that, certainly, is helping keep littles happily occupied.  I would argue, though, that I personally do that by setting up the structure that helps my littles learn, grow, and thrive as part of the larger institution of our home, rather than by actually spending hours every day on the floor playing.

That all said, here are my thoughts on how to set the structure so that you and your littles can stay happily occupied at home together, more often than not, anyway.

1) Cultivate interests that you find personally satisfying that are also related to or compatible with caring for your littles and home.  Personally, I like to cook made-from-scratch dinners, read books, make music, and take photos.  Some other options include organizing, cleaning, or decorating your home; arts or crafts that can be done with littles present; gardening, raising animals, or other homesteading activities; writing; or running a home-based business.

2) Organize your space and your day so that there is time for the things you find satisfying.  I don't mean just fitting in some blogging during nap time, either, although you certainly could do that, too.  Read Jane Austin aloud at the breakfast table, do a science project every day until you exhaust your library of experiments, make art together, or put the baby grand in the middle of your tiny living room.  Choose to reflect the fact that you are a whole person, and this shared time together is your life, too.

3) Have a routine.  Maybe the idea of a schedule is too constraining for you, but littles thrive on predictability.  Nobody says you have to watch the clock, but kids will be happier and the day will be smoother if everyone knows the general order of events for the day.

4) Schedule an activity during your biggest block of free time every day. I plan an errand, a messy project, a playground trip, art time, or something that will take a decent chunk of time after breakfast and before our morning walk every day.

5) Take a walk around the block.  Preschooler walks are endless.  Literally walking around our suburban block never takes my brood less than 30 minutes.  If you've got way too much time to kill, do it twice a day.  We take a walk before lunch in rain, shine, snow, or scorching heat.  It's just part of the routine.

6) Read books. We hit the library just about every week and get at least 10 unfamiliar picture books. You could start a blog or goodreads account and write reviews, if that makes you happy (see #1 above).  You can feel virtuous because everybody in education recommends reading aloud to little kids.  Moreover, you can relax a little, because as long as a paid author is developing entertaining plot-lines you don't have to think of any dialogue for Barbie.

7) Give littles the opportunity to help you with household work.  It will take longer if they help, but think of it as learning life skills.  They will also do a terrible job nine times out of ten.  Assign work you don't mind being done terribly.  My kids sweep, wash mirrors, put away laundry, and tidy up.  They are not allowed to help clean the bathroom.  Yuck.

8) Set up something fun for the kids, and then step back and let them play.  I'll put out the blocks, build a road with the littles, then excuse myself to get my camera. After that I can take pictures instead of playing blocks.  Similarly, I'll put out an invitation to play (toys or materials presented in a new way or in new combinations) and leave it for the kids to discover on their own.

9) Rotate toys. My kids will not play with anything if there are more than 10 choices. The research suggests there's a sweet spot for optimal engagement, and it's usually between 6 and 12 options.  I try to put out between 6 and 10 kinds of play items (sample 6: doctor kit, metal cars, farm puzzle, scissors/paper/glue/crayons, juggling balls, monkey puppet).  Every other toy and craft supply is stashed in the utility room. When we get something out of there, it's fresh and new. And nobody's overwhelmed. There's also the bonus of easier clean up when there are fewer toys to strew.

Snowman Pancakes

You might wonder why we make snowman pancakes every Advent, given that one of my rules for the activity Advent calendar is "no sugar treats."  Truthfully, we do whole wheat pancakes, waffles, or muffins for breakfast once a week pretty much year round, so the treat for my kids is in the shape and decorating, rather than in the pancakes themselves.  Here are a few pictures of our creations from last year.

As you can see, each big kid got a big plate with a snowman and a little plate of things for decorating it.  In this case, they used bananas, clementines, raisins, chocolate chips, coconut flakes, peanuts, cashews, and dried papaya, but that's just because those are the items I had in the cupboard at the time.  

L just got chunks of pancakes.  Which he ate with his face, because apparently his hands were not up for the challenge that day.

The pancakes weren't hard to make, either.  I cooked them two at a time on my stove-top griddle.  I used a 1/4 cup dry measuring cup to scoop the batter and filled it about 1/3 full for the head, 2/3 full for the middle, and all the way full for the bottom.

Added bonus: here's my go-to pancake recipe.

Super Fluffy 100% Whole Wheat Pancakes

Beat 2 eggs with 1/4 cup brown sugar and 2 tablespoons melted butter or oil.

Add 2 cups plain kefir or yogurt and mix well.

In a separate bowl, combine 2 cups whole wheat flour, 1 tablespoon baking powder, and 1/2 teaspoon salt.

Stir dry and wet ingredients together until just combined.  Some lumps are normal.

Pour batter on a pre-heated griddle and cook over medium heat until the edges are dry, the bottoms are browned, and you can flip the pancakes without smushing them.  Flip and cook until the second side is browned.  

Activities for Advent with a Toddler

I had a conversation with a friend whose big kids is the same age as my babies.  She talked about wanting to start Advent traditions with her daughter and expressed interest in my activity Advent calendar.  Upon further discussion, however, it became abundantly clear that my plans are for ages 3 and up.  So what to do with your toddler?

If you've got older kids, I'd suggest scaling down or scaffolding their activities so the littlest can participate.  Clearly parties and outings can involve everyone, even babies can listen to Christmas music, and books can be leveled for your audience.  Crafts can be simplified and oriented more towards process than product (I've cut paper wreaths, you can put on stickers however you like or use bingo dabbers to paint "ornaments" on them.  Here are pine cones, glue, and glitter: perhaps you'd like to combine them?)  Games can be about playing with the components, instead of actually playing the game.  Honestly, my littlest littles like to be involved, even if they have no idea what's going on.  Case in point; L says "knock knock, wha-hoo!" and then laughs hysterically.

If your only kids are under three, maybe a sensory themed activity every day is your best bet.  Introduce the material, let your little explore, and enjoy watching or playing along.  To that end, here are a few ideas:

Twenty-Five Sensory Suggestions for Advent

See
Lit candles (again, please supervise closely!  A two year old might be able to blow candles out.)
Christmas lights hung in the neighborhood (I would probably just take a walk before or after dinner some night)

Hear
Recorded Christmas music
Jingle bells
Caregiver singing
Salvation Army bell ringer

Smell/Taste
Cinnamon play-dough (or a chunk of cookie dough)
Cinnamon sticks
Pumpkin puree (with spices already mixed in or on the side)
Seasonal drink (eggnog, hot chocolate, apple cider, or cinnamon tea)
Candy cane
Pine branches

Touch/Play
Tinsel or Garland
Unbreakable ornaments
A pile of pine needles or a pine branch and pine cones
Miniature tree with unbreakable ornaments to decorate and undecorate
Wooden or plastic nativity scene
Straw + box + doll = manger
String of Christmas lights plugged in (with close supervision, of course)
Wrapping paper, ribbons, and bows
Snow (or fake snow)
Toy reindeer or a horse and sleigh or a toy Santa Clause
Unlit candles (scented ones would be fun)
White fur, faux fur, or a Santa hat and beard
Advent wreath with fake candles (here's an example, but you could certainly DIY something different)

Activity Advent Calendar

You're possibly already familiar with the chocolate Advent calendar: a piece of cardboard with little doors numbered 1 through 25, behind each of which rests a piece of chocolate.  The idea is that you open one door each day of December leading up to Christmas.  When I was a child, we also had an Advent calendar with a little bear whom you moved each day to a new "room" of his fabric banner house.

For the past 4 years, we've done an activity Advent calendar, where each day of December has a special activity planned.  There are a million pinterest-worthy ways to set one of these up, but ours is just index cards in pockets.  I've worked hard to make the activities not about sweet treats and either 1) something we would be doing anyway or 2) something that can be done at home without disrupting the schedule.  We also acknowledge Hanukkah in our celebration every year.  Mostly because we like playing Dreidel, and the story of Hanukkah is a great story.  We're not Jewish, though, so we don't light a menorah.

One thing to make the activities work for me: I plan the month in advance, but I write each card the night before.  This has two advantages.  First, it lets me rearrange things as necessary.  Second, it reminds me of anything I need to get organized for the next day's activity treat.

December 2015 Activity Advent Calendar

1- Start Christmas crafts for family gifts

2- Set up Nativity scene

3- Make paper snowflakes

4- Christmas Lights bubble bath (light candles on the counter and put glow sticks in the tub)

5- Joyful Traditions (our town tree lighting ceremony)

6- Buy Christmas tree

7- Play Dreidel

8- Read Hanukkah Stories (I check these out from the library in advance)

9- Decorate our tree

10- Sesame Street Christmas videos on YouTube

11- Tell holiday jokes

12- See the lights at a local park

13- Church Christmas party

14- Christmas song sing-along

15- Christmas for animals (we smear pine cones with peanut butter and roll in birdseed, then hang them with ribbon from our trees outside)

16- Read Christmas Stories by the Christmas tree

17- The Gibbon's holiday concert

18- Support group Christmas party

19- Watch a Christmas movie

20- Children's Christmas program at church

21- Make snowman pancakes

22- Pajama Dance Party

23- Board Game night

24- Midnight service at church

25- Merry Christmas!

In case you don't have as many parties as we do this year, our backup activities are:

• drink tea from the fancy china cups
• wrap presents together
• decorate bedrooms for Christmas
• carol for our neighbors
• dress up and take glamorous photos,
• a winter scavenger hunt in the back yard.  

Of course, if you had fewer parties, you could spare a few extra sweet treats, and then you might want to bake cookies, decorate a gingerbread house, or drink hot cocoa.

Any other great ideas?  I'd love your suggestions.

Suboptimal parenting BINGO

I'll admit to shamelessly stealing this idea from The Ugly Volvo.  But I thought the cards could use a little tweaking.  For starters, there were some important things she missed.  Also, I wanted the boxes to be a little more objective. 

These cards will work great if you have a preschooler.  A baby would probably be fine for most of them.  I'm not so sure about an older kid.  Any feedback on that?  Please note that the more kids you have, the faster you'll "win."

Here's how to play!  Pick a number between 1 and 10, count down to the corresponding card, and keep track of how life is improved by your child(ren)!

If you are an IRL friend of who lives within 10 miles of me, send me a message when you get a BINGO, and I'll reward you with a cheap bottle of wine and some sympathetic company.  If you're not an IRL friend who lives within 10 miles of me, I suggest you concoct a similar arrangement with a few parents in your neck of the woods.  Tell me how it goes.

 

Where the Heck Have I Been?

Happy Thanksgiving!  Sorry for the no-show last week.  I have apparently been having too much fun to fulfill my responsibilities.   It all started with the Tuesday trip to both the Shedd Aquarium and the Adler Planetarium with Auntie A.  Then I went out to the theater on comp tickets two nights in a row.  Then, well, the weekend.  And by Monday, why bother planning when the new week starts on Wednesday? 

First, the aquarium and planetarium both had a free day.  We decided to hit the aquarium around opening and see how it went.  The special exhibits at the Shedd are more than half of the floor plan, so if you're planning an actual paid for trip, spring for a pass that covers at least the wild reef and the polar play zone.  However, we spent around two and a half hours on just the general admission stuff. 

There are a wide variety of aquariums with a dizzying array of inhabitants, but there aren't a ton of "exhibits."  The information on each tank more often than not is limited to a picture of each species with its scientific name and common name.  With my littles at age 3.5 and 15 months, that wasn't a big deal.  They ran back and forth and back and forth and watched the fish in each aquarium for as long as they were interested.  My older child (who will henceforth be known as The Gibbon) played some I-spy type games with me and Auntie A.  If you go with kids who are readers, or if you want to plan a longer visit, I'm sure the experience would be enriched by the addition of a smart phone to look up more information on the most interesting species and a drawing pad to sketch habitats or creatures.

I actually hadn't ever been to the Adler Planetarium myself, so when the littles were still coping after the aquarium, it made good sense to me to scope it out, even if just for reconnaissance.  We'd already paid for parking, so could be the harm, right?

The majority of the planetarium is really directed towards elementary school kids and older.  To really understand any of the exhibits, kids need a bare minimum of reading ability.  However, in the Planet Explorers section, The Gibbon enjoyed pressing buttons on the video games he didn't understand.  And my younger child (who will henceforth be known as The Sparrow) enjoyed carrying around the painted foam "rocks" and wearing an "astronaut" backpack that set her terribly off balance, as it was basically the same dimensions as her.  Actually, The Sparrow LOVED carrying around the rocks and hollered like she was being murdered when we tried to take the backpack off of her.  So, success for the day.

As for theater, on Wednesday I went to Sister Act at the Auditorium Theater in the city with a friend whose husband is working the show.  The production was fantastic, and the stage musical is quite different from the movie.  The underlying message of the showgirl-turned-nun show was made very explicit through dialogue, and it's not one that I particularly agree with.  So not only did I have a blast (Yay giant disco Mary!), but I also came away with some interesting food for thought.

Then (well, actually a couple of weeks ago) the male lead in Singing in the Rain at Drury Lane hurt himself.  With the understudy playing lead, Thursday's press night was rescheduled, and the press tickets got comped to a friend of a friend of mine.  The Hubby was tired, so I brought a girlfriend who hasn't been to see a live musical since high school, and we had a fantastic night of it!  I feel so steeped in culture, tell you what. 

I promise menus tomorrow. 

Meal Plan Monday and Not St. Louis

I'm on vacation this week, sort of.  I got an invitation to go to St. Louis for a couple of days with a friend of mine.  It would have been the two of us ladies and four children between us.  I wasn't sure if it was a good idea: her youngest is 2 years older than The Munchkin, and they are both high energy boys.  I was worried that my kids would be tired and cranky before the end of day 1, that they wouldn't sleep at night because of said crankyness, and I would end up sitting in the hotel with them for most of day 2.  But a zoo!  And a museum!  And hanging out with a girlfriend!  It sounded like such fun! 

And then I remembered that I had volunteered to lead Bible study one night in the middle of the trip.  And then my friend's mother said she really wanted to go.  So the decision was made: I stayed home.

But after that conversation, I really wanted to do something fun.  So on Monday I planned a trip to the city.  And today we executed it!  I drove down to the near north-side, just me and the littles with a doublewide stroller and a couple bags of necessities.  We visited a farmer's market (including impromptu lesson on fiddle anatomy),  the Museum of Contemporary Art, a playground, and Millennium Park.

The Munchkin enjoyed the interactive art exhibits- which made me wish more of them were interactive- the Crown Fountain, and the big foam blocks at the Family Fun Fest.  The Baby enjoyed the Crown Fountain and the pigeons.  I was exhausted by the end of the day, and The Baby had a hard time going to bed after such excitement.  But I'm SO glad we did it.  And I hope my friend is having fun in St. Louis with her mom.

Monday- Eggplant parmigiana, spaghetti with homemade tomato sauce, salad.

Tuesday- Hot dogs.  And nothing else.  I know, right? 

Wednesday- Soba noodles, steamed carrots, and raw cucumbers with peanut sauce.

Thursday- Broccoli and potatoes with bacon.

Friday- Green and red bell pepper stir fry.  Over brown rice.