A list of ten things that make me feel virtuous, despite the fact that they probably shouldn't.
1. Fermented vegetables. Eating them, making them, and even just observing them as they reside in the fridge.
2. Having all the laundry clean. It doesn't have to be folded and put away, just clean. If there's no pile of dirty laundry lurking in the basement, the laundry is "done!"
3. Reading nonfiction. True, the book may have no literary or educational merit, but if it's nonfiction junk, it's surely better than fiction junk.
4. Letting my kids get muddy. God made dirt and dirt don't hurt. To be fair, no dirt doesn't hurt either, so it would be an equally valid choice to ask the kids not to ruin their clothes. That isn't what I do, though, so I applaud myself for messy kids.
5. Wearing anything other than jeans. Fancy!
6. Cleaning off the kitchen counter. The presence of this item on this particular list should tell you exactly how often I complete the task.
7. Sending out my children's thank-you notes. This is ridiculous for several reasons. First, the notes get written, but not in a timely fashion. People regularly get Christmas thank-yous in February, for goodness sake! Second, because most of the people to whom the kids write either don't care or actively don't want the notes. Third, everyone knows who's orchestrating things, and it sure isn't the 7 year-old.
8. Not having Facebook on my phone. I'm a compulsive Facebook user, so having it on my phone would be a terrible decision. I did not, however, make a decision not to download the Facebook app onto my phone, it's just that I don't have a smart phone, so there's no way for me to use any apps.
9. Showering without soap. It's a hippie thing: avoiding messing with your skin's natural chemistry and oils. Is it terrible? It's probably terrible.
10. Winning things that aren't really competitions. My kids finished the library's 1000 books before kindergarten in less than 4 months! That's faster than everyone else! They were the first kids in the whole town to finish! We're the winners! Nobody else thinks this was a competition. There is no prize for being first. Nobody cares. We still win.